Daddy, is Santa Real?

What follows is from my archive (a previous blog) from 2006...

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I'm a proud father, though I'm frustrated too. What can you do about some things but to just shake your head and wonder.

I'm a member of the Ogden Athletic Club. One of the biggest selling points for the club (in my mind) is the nursery care they provide for young children. My experience with their childcare has so far been mostly positive, but I have to write about an incident that happened a week or two ago.

My daughter, 3 years old (almost 4), was in tears on the way home from the club. My wife had picked her up from the nursery and relayed to me what had happened that made my little princess so distraught.

A fellow boy had apparently mentioned something about Santa Claus, probably about all the toys Santa was going to bring him. You know, something typical and innocent to say around Christmas time. My daughter, with a pure heart and only good intentions, promptly informed the boy that in fact Santa wasn't real, that he's just make believe and that Santa would not be bringing him any presents.

What's a strong willed girl to do but to set the young man straight? It's my daughter's nature to try and help out when and where she can. She's very smart and understands things at a level most children her age don't. When someone says something she inherently knows is wrong, it's her duty in life to inform them the truth. What's a smart strong-willed 3 year old supposed to do?

So my wife walks in after the situation had apparently cooled down some, but there was still tension in the air. Apparently, many of the kids were offended by my daughter's words, they were yelling at her and she was left to defend her position basically alone. "Well, who brings us the presents then?" asked the boy.

"Our parents give us presents," was my daughter's reply.

One nursery assistant, having her own child in nursery that day, promptly grabbed her daughter and dragged her away from the situation. She was so afraid of her daughter hearing that Santa wasn't real, to hear the truth. Why not take that opportunity to teach the child? Teach your child that some people have certain beliefs, and that others have other beliefs, and that it's all ok for each to have their own.

I get the feeling that the nursery staff was a little peeved at my daughter's actions. My wife described the tension in the air, and I would believe it given that no teacher intervened in the verbal argument between my daughter and the rest of the class.

I can't expect her to know all the nuances and dances we perform to keep the cultural Santa mythology going. She's not a politician yet, she just tells it like it is; 3 year old's don't have a sense of political correctness. Just as true as it was in my daughter's mind that Santa wasn't real, it was true in the boy's mind that Santa was real. It's black or white for this age, there is no understanding of gray issues, political correctness, or historic fictional characters.

In my daughters mind, God is real and Santa is make believe, and I frankly like it that way. I can understand why the boy felt so offended and confused (my daughter contradicted the boy's parents). And I understand why my daugther was in tears over getting verbally ganged up on by her peers.

What I don't understand is why we continue to lift up Santa, yet put down God. Why do we lie to our children and let them so wholeheartedly believe in something that in a few short years they will realize is not true. Wouldn't it be better telling our children that Santa is just a fictional figure head, someone who is fun to talk or pretend about, something to tickle our fancy and imaginations like any good story book? As opposed to setting them up for disappointment and breaking trust in their parents?

I want my children to wholeheartedly trust me with everything. I will only ever tell my children the truth, because I want to model and teach them true faith, true trust and love. Setting our children up for disappointment by perpetuating a lie burns bridges and makes our children's hearts callus.

My biggest disappointment is with the nursery workers. Their inaction speaks volumes. Their inability to act and deal with the situation really demonstrates how sacred the lie of the Santa Christmas has become. The original St. Nicholas advocated people sell their goods and give to the poor. Shouldn't that be what Santa is all about? Shouldn't that be what we're teaching our children?